Talking with GOP Friends and Relatives – Many of us avoid discussions of politics in social settings. But times have changed. Politics have never been a more important topic than they are today. This is crucial to our success. If each one of us could convince only one person to vote for democracy over fascism, that would be enough to win!
To have useful, successful discussions we need to engage, rather than alienate. To do that you need a discussion template:
- Start by asking questions and listening. People need to feel heard and taken seriously, so pay attention as you listen.
- Learn why they believe as they do. Don’t discount their priorities or beliefs. Do your best to understand how they arrived at that position.
- Respond respectfully. Try offering examples of different facts, by asking if they have heard of….? Or did they know….?
- Speak softly and calmly. When making an alternative case or point, ease in rather than rather than “lecture.” Speak like you are seeking their approval rather than talking down to them.
- Know the facts. Offer hard evidence in a soft way. Know facts enough to quote them, but rather than leading with facts (which they will hear as your “opinion”) wait to use them as examples and context of a response,.
- Understand that you may be bursting their bubble. No one feels good about being wrong or mislead. Offer face-saving explanations of why your “opinions” might be different.
- Encourage them to “Trust but Verify.” This is a phase GOP members will attribute to Reagan. If you can get them to verify the “facts” that will help them move to truth rather than opinions.
- Democracy is democratic. Help them realize that democrats are not trying to force a way of life on others. They are only trying to enable each one to live their life in ways that do not diminish others.
- We can be the same, even while we are different. Help them to see all the things that both sides have in common. If we can move common ground together, we can still have our own views separately.
- Ultimately, it must feel like their idea. Every thing you say should be set in a framework of showing them a path, and making that path attractive enough that they choose to follow it. You will never drag them kicking and screaming.